Today I prayer-walked for the first time, from my current church building to the building we are praying about moving into. This concept of a prayer journey was, I'll admit, a little bit uncomfortable to me. I mean, I can walk a 5K no problem, just give me some tunes to sing along to (yes, I'm that girl) or a buddy to walk with, and 3 miles flies by. But just walk alone, meditate and pray? It's sort of embarrassing to admit, but that is a little bit outside my comfort zone. Do I pray and talk to God daily? Yes. But for almost 3 1/2 miles straight? No...and that got me thinking. Why is it so hard for me to pray for a solid 45 minutes? Well, I could blame it on a lot of things, like the slight touch of ADD that I'm positive I have, or our culture of "busy-ness" and multitasking and multimedia, or even the mascara burning my eyes because I forgot to take my makeup off before the warm walk. But when it comes down to it, those are all excuses. Not even good ones! Excuses, because sometimes the control freak in me would rather just try to figure things out myself than talk to God about what's going on in my life and the world around me. I saw a quote a while back on Pinterest that said "Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?" Ouch. When I have issues in my life, it is definitely my inclination to talk my friends' ears off about it, but do I talk to God about it? I mean, really talk to Him? And even more so, really
listen to Him? Now, I'm not saying it's bad to talk to people about struggles or challenges, because I know God often chooses to speak through the people we are close to. But I guess what I learned today is that I realized it is not my natural tendency to really listen for God's voice when I pray. I do a lot of talking "at" God...but not so much listening for His voice. I don't know what else God has to teach me on this prayer journey that my church family has begun, but I know He wants me to listen for Him, and give Him a chance to speak to my heart. It's exciting, and a teensy bit terrifying, to really start asking God to speak and then listening to what He has to say. But I am so thankful that I can trust in His character- His love- even when my flesh really wants to be in charge. Will I have lots of life lessons as I continue to learn how to really pray and hear God? I would expect nothing less from Him! As I keep learning, I'll keep sharing...
Blessings! :)
