Tonight I had a unique opportunity, a first for me, really. My pastor invited me to give a short devotional, sandwiched between several church elders, at our Christmas service. While I spend my life in front of people speaking and teaching and facilitating, this particular experience was new and somewhat unnerving. However, the experience turned out to be truly a blessing, as I spent the week reflecting on what God wanted me to share tonight with my church family. God brought me to a challenge, a lesson I've heard a time or two, and yet once again He knew I needed to hear it.
The passage Pastor Dave asked me to reflect on was Luke 2:5-7... "He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Our worship team had decided to introduce this passage with the song Breath of Heaven, a song about Mary's feelings as she walked to Bethlehem and neared the time of Jesus' birth. This song got me thinking about all we could learn from Mary, especially if we think back to the 9 months or so before Jesus was born.
First, let's take a look at the situation. Mary is faced with an "unplanned" pregnancy- of course, God planned it, but it was a terrifying shock to Mary. As a young girl, Mary was facing judgement from her family and community, and found herself suddenly responsible for God, in infant form. God's plan was totally incomprehensible to Mary. But if we look closely, Mary teaches us all a lesson. In her life, we can see that when you totally surrender control of your life to God, He will allow you to be used in ways you never could orchestrate on your own.
Mary was given the blessing of being part of the biggest miracle God ever performed- the gift of His son in human form- because she was able to surrender, to turn all the reins over to the God who knew better than she did what the world needed. Would she have chosen a pregnancy "out of wedlock", the risk of her fiancee' leaving her, or the experience of giving birth in a dirty barn? No. Those things were way beyond her control. But God was always in control, and only He could see the big picture.
Now, if you've read any of my other blog posts, you might already realize this about me, but I can have a tendency to be a little bit of a control freak. I kind of panic when I'm not in charge. I like to do things my way, because then I know they'll be done right (insert sheepish grin here). But as I reflect on what God asked of Mary and Joseph, I see a perfect example of how He uses situations outside of our control to glorify Him and fulfill His plan. Like in the song Breath of Heaven, when Mary cries "Help me strong...help me be...help me"- that moment her life willingly was surrendered (and I would imagine Mary might have come to that point a few times over her years raising Jesus)- that moment of total surrender made her available to be God's vehicle of mercy and grace by sending Jesus here for us. Did Mary feel, throughout her life and especially the 33 years of Jesus' life on earth, like sometimes things were careening out of control and made absolutely no sense? I would bet that she had some of those feelings throughout her lifetime. Just like sometimes, in the tiniest, quietest corner of our hearts, we sometimes want to kick and scream and say "Hey, God, do you actually know what you're doing here? Because I don't get it...and I don't like it!"
But I wonder, how many miracles and blessings might you and I be a part of, if we learned to be a little more like Mary? To trust, even when it seems completely terrifying. To believe in the miraculous, even when it seems ridiculous. And to willingly surrender our hearts to God's plan for our lives, and not our own.
I'm so glad that God's in charge...His plan, even though I can't always see it, is perfect. He is worthy of our trust. And He just keeps proving Himself time and time again.
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